I’m A Natural Blonde SO JUST GET OVER IT ALREADY
People historically have believed some really dumb things.
Humans used to believe those they deemed as witches had a 6th finger or a third nipple. People once upon a time believed the earth was FLAT. And crazily enough, there are people out there who believe Dylan belonged with Kelly and not Brenda.
And for some reason, people refuse to believe my hair is natural. And it’s always been the case.
Backing up, my hair is what you may call platinum blonde. White-white-blonde. Always has been. When I was a little girl, people always assumed one of two things:
1 – My parents were crazy people who were bleaching my hair IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL. (They’re not.)
2 – I’m an albino. (Simply not true –- albinism means a person has a complete absence of melanin, and one with dark eyes simply doesn’t fit the description.)
Pop culture will suggest blondes have more fun, they may even sing tunes as such, but the world does such with a certain degree of side eye. As a people, we’ve finally gotten to a place where we realize that racist and sexist humor is quite simply ignorant and disgusting –- but BLONDE JOKES? –- still OK.
Blondes are said to be rather “loose” (so to speak), predominately flakey, and to say someone is BLONDE, often means you are actually saying something else about them –- maybe that they are exciting and sexy (a good!) but probably also that they aren’t the sharpest tool in the shed.
…and you’re also probably assuming she’s dyeing her hair. Plenty of natural blondes exist, LOTS. And mine is natural. (See said baby picture above as evidence!) –- and yet just about everyone assumes it isn’t. And they don't believe me when I assure them otherwise.
Back to my story.
As I grew older, and it became increasingly socially acceptable that perhaps I was in fact dyeing my hair (say, high school?) people would always ask me where I got my color done. I’d assure them my mother’s womb. They would not believe me.
But I also noticed they’d underestimate me. Friends, when people see you and think PEROXIDE, they believe all sorts of mistruths about you. They erroneously believe you are less intelligent than them. Use this to your advantage. I got a perfect score on my SATs and straight As through college. But even after "Legally Blonde," people continue to underestimate the power of a blonde. When people don’t see you coming and assume you are nothing but lots of pale hair and a fun smile, there’s no limit to how much you can accomplish.
Maybe the misbelief about us came from the concept that anyone who would use that much bleach would be burning out a bunch of brain cells. That’s simply not true EITHER, but absolutely doesn’t apply to someone who has never used any bleach at all. What IS true is that natural blondes are an endangered species (it’s true!) and thus you should be enjoying us while you can!
But it still gets on my nerves. It gets grating when I go to hair salons –- WHERE, I’M SORRY BUT THEY SHOULD KNOW BETTER -- and stylists ask me about the last time I got color and caution me about the progressive damage of so much processing. It bugs me when I write articles and there are comments about how I should stop with the trashy color because it looks incredibly unnatural and it’s why my hair is unhealthy.
It is not unnatural. And stop using a physical characteristic –- whether it’s weight or height or color of someone’s hair –- to make judgments about their character or intellect. It’s just ignorant.
Most of all, just get over it. I’m a natural blonde –- as natural as natural gets –- and it just may mean I’ll never ever go gray. And if I do, you won’t be able to tell, so just DEAL.
And if you are just jealous? Well, stop hating. Green is so unnatural and unattractive looking on you.