I'D REALLY LIKE TO KNOW: Do You Prefer Vanilla?

UPDATED: I came to the office for a few hours and let Madeline take a photo of me by the janitor's closet. Those are her birthday flowers from her boyfriend which I selfishly dismembered. Happy birthday Mad!

May 31, 2012 at 4:00pm | Leave a comment

image

Not my best look. The lotion smells gud though!

gud Vanilla Flame Body Mist

Vanilla is a fragrance that smells really good and creamy. Vanilla is a really good way to smell for summer. Vanilla is a really excellent way to live your life if you want everyone to be happy with you.

Sometimes I wish my insides were made of vanilla.

Sometimes I wish I could breathe vanilla through a nebulizer every morning so I could be like everyone else and then my columns that I work hard on would actually run every day, unlike yesterday, when what I wrote was once again too edgy or something and I guess I just wasted everybody’s time. [It's going up at 9 am tomorrow. It was with legal because of a photo issue. ]

(Where do we go from here, though? Because if I don’t get to write whatever I want I don’t want to write. And isn’t the reason that you guys like my columns because I always write exactly what I want -- because I’m honest and different? You tell me.)

(You tell them.)

Vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla vanilla: it’s my favorite way to smell, and so it would be so much easier if it was my favorite way to be.

My favorite vanilla products right now: anything and everything from the fantastic new Burt’s Bees spin-off line delightfully named Gud (I do not know how to make the little two-dot thing over the “u”, but one exists there).

I particularly like the Vanilla Flame Natural Body Lotion ($6.99 on ulta.com), which I like to slather on head to toe, and you, too, can do so without feeling guilty (though nothing’s wrong if it feels good, kids; always remember that) -- because these products are super high-quality yet remarkably inexpensive, at decidedly drugstore prices.

image

The whole line smells pure vanilla-y, not like bake sale. As someone who detests the idea of food and eating in general and particularly in the summer, if you think I’d walk around in the summer broiling under the sun smelling like a broiling stick of butter – butter rolled in SUGAR, no less -- you are bugging, my dear.

My other favorite product from the line – my VERY favorite – is the Gud Vanilla Flame Body Mist ($5.99 on target.com, pictured at the top of the column), which spritzes on milky, with a lotion-y quality: it smells like your clean skin out of the shower, just washed with a vanilla body wash, say, but better, and you can spray it on and on and on and it never gets overpowering ever ever ever. It smells so clean and dewy and fantastic. It’s all-natural, that’s why.

I started this column feeling quite sour and put on the aforementioned lotion and mist heavily throughout it and am essentially am all cheered up now (or am I lying; does it even matter; who cares), so there you go; look at that: that’s what very very Gud sweet lovely beauty products can do.

So.

Close your eyes. Deep breath in with me, deep breath out: vanilla.

Cat’s on Twitter @cat_marnell