I Ain’t Afraid Of No Eyelash Curler (And 3 Other Products That Used To Scare Me)

Basically, eyelash curlers are my bitch now.

Dec 4, 2012 at 1:00pm | Leave a comment

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Just me and my best friend hanging out. What are we all doing tonight? Where are we all going? What clubs are we hitting up? 

I plan to pass down a lot to my unborn daughter who I’m not even sure if I’ll ever have. Don’t send a multiple sentence response to a one-syllable text. Don’t be afraid to apologize. Don’t use an eyelash curler in a car. That last one is super important, sweetie. Now go play outside. Mommy is busy. 

I honestly do not know why I thought it would ever be a good idea to curl my eyelashes in a moving vehicle, but I did, and when my newly licensed friend slammed on the breaks, each one of teeny-tiny eyelashes was yanked from their root. First I screamed from the initial pain. Then I screamed from realizing a row of my eyelashes were sitting in my lap. Then I screamed because, oh man do you look weird with only lashes on one eye. 

Of course, eyelashes grow back and it was not very long before this was just yet another story I was able to laugh about. Still, I was left with a pretty justified fear of eyelash curlers. Years of reading lady mags and beauty blogs taught me that curling my lashes was the best way to open my eyes and make me look more awake, but I was willing to look beady eyed and tired if it meant not having to step near that contraption ever again. 

But, alas, fears are meant to be conquered! Except for lizards because those things are tiny dinosaurs that’s messed up! Below are five products that once scared me and how I got over my fears. Basically, eyelash curlers are my bitch now. 

The Product: Eyelash curlers 

The Fear: That they would rip all my eyelashes out and people would say, “Did you hear about Michelle? It’s so sad. She died because she didn’t have enough eyelashes.” 

How I Got Over This Fear: No cars, no planes, no automobiles. I also make sure to remove all my eye makeup before I curl my lashes, even the bits of mascara I might have missed from the night before. Doing so helps to ensure the curler won’t stick to your lashes and then pull your lashes from the root. 

The Product: Curling rods  

The Fear: Getting burned  

How I Got Over This Fear: That glove they give you? Yeah, they provide that for a reason. Use it. Also be sure to curl away from your face. This will look better and will help make sure you don’t get burns that look like hickies. No one likes to look like they have a hickey, unless you’re at sleepaway camp, in which case you’re just a prude if you don’t have one. 

The Product: Lip liner

The Fear: Looking like a clown   

How I Got Over This Fear: Lip liner is not foolproof. It’s a fool’s kryptonite, actually, which is so frustrating because it looks SO GOOD when done right, but it is SO HARD to do it right. I took a makeup class with Sonia Kashuk about two years ago (I don’t know either. Whatever.) and she taught us to start lining our lips very, very lightly from the center of our lips, rather than the corners. It was genius. 

The Product: Self tanner (Oh, step down from your horse. You’re no better than me.)

The Fear: Ooma Loompa Doompa Dee Dee

How I Got Over This Fear:  I was born and raised in South Florida, so I never had to actually tan growing up. I just had to walk outside. When I moved up north, I was not used to seeing myself so pale. To note, I love pale skin. I think it’s beautiful. But I don’t get pretty girl pale. My skin is naturally olive tone, so when I lose color I just get green and sickly.

I got really into self-tanner my freshman year of college and quickly realized what a poor choice that was. Now I only use it twice a week, and use a high quality one. I’m partial to Clarins Self Tanning Milk. At $34 it is a bit pricy, but I’ve found that drugstore self-tanners make me breakout. 

Tell me what products scare you on twitter @michellelynking!

The lovely Kait Robinson took the photo of me looking like an idiot with an eyelash curler.