Bangs, fringe, breakage — whatever you call it, it'll fit in some butterfly clips.
I don’t know if anyone noticed, but I hadn’t been doing any
xoVain articles for a while. Months went by. The reason was I felt way too
ugly to even think of recommending anything.
My hair had become so
unmanageable and misshapen, I felt I didn’t have the authority to say anything
looked good. It was breaking off, and I was so depressed about it. I
didn’t feel like myself at all; I was miserable every day about my hair. It
sounds shallow, because it is. I know there are bigger problems in the world than my hair. I just choose to obsess over it to the point of distress for reasons unbeknownst to me.
This all changed when I decided to just cut bangs.
about a week after I practically screamed “nooooooo” to the idea of someone
else getting bangs; not because I knew I wanted them, but because I was still
adamantly anti-bangs since I grew mine out a couple years ago.
I realized I’m a
huge hypocrite when it comes to hair. I do things to my own hair that I would
never want someone else to do. I guess after all the bad haircuts and bad
highlights, I kind of gave up on myself. But at the same time, I idolize other
people’s hair--especially people with the patience to do absolutely nothing
with it, which, in my opinion, results in the best-looking hair. (I have
major hair envy issues. Maybe my
obsession with hair has something to do with being practically bald until
The recent condition of my hair was a big source of
negativity in my life. It was fried, weird-shaped, and had about two
inches of brown roots showing. I didn’t
want to go anywhere or do anything, because I just wanted to hide until my highlighted
hair completely grew out. I felt like I was constantly checking it to see if it
grew out yet. I was hoping it would just
miraculously become some sort of ombre at a certain point.
I also got a trim, and they gave me these uneven face-framing layers that were really
unflattering, in my opinion, and six weeks later, the face framing layers just
emphasized how thinned out and messed up my hair was at the ends.
It was a
nightmare. Having hair you hate sucks a
decent amount of joy from everyday life. And in case you can’t tell, my hair is directly
connected to my mental state.
Due to all the breakage I was experiencing, I didn’t think
there was any way I could be OK with my hair in the near future. Being blonde
when you’re a natural brunette is a big commitment, and I didn’t have the
wherewithal to think that through when I took the plunge.
A year later, I am
not in a position financially to go to a salon for even a haircut, so I have
been just letting my roots grow. It started getting painfully boring, though, with
little payoff, and I was really unhappy with the thinness of my hair,
especially the front, which was completely uneven and full of split ends you
could probably see from a mile away.
got to a point where I had to do something. I wanted to look presentable, at
least. But I thought I needed to do something drastic, like get a pixie, which
I already know I would hate from past experience. I thought I was stuck with my
hair, perpetually waiting. I was in a major rut.
One day, I asked my boyfriend what to do, because he usually
gives me really good hair and makeup advice. To my surprise, he said bangs. I
was all like, “No way!” But then, to entertain the thought, I folded a small
section just below my eyebrows to see what it would look like. It completely
changed the way I saw my hair. It was
like instant nostalgia!
Before any of my friends could text me back when I
asked them if I should get bangs, I already had the scissors in my hand. I used
to have bangs when I was younger, so I knew not to cut too much hair. I’ve had
bangs that ate up half my hair before, it was terrible. (Nearly all my hair
mistakes are self-inflicted, so I have no one else to blame. )
I just took a tiny section from the front, coincidentally
the most uneven, ratty and damaged, and snipped small sections with the
scissors pointed straight toward my hair so the bangs would lay flat. I didn’t
use fancy scissors for this, because my hair at the top usually gets oily, and my
roots aren’t damaged. (Using dull scissors on damaged hair can actually make
damage worse because the hair doesn’t cut cleanly.)
Most of my bangs are roots
but some of them have blonde tips, which helps it not look like helmet-head. I
was afraid of that, but I am pretty happy with how my bangs came out. I can
always pin them back if I miss seeing my forehead or anything.
I guess the moral of the story is that cutting bangs instantly
lifted my spirits and I’m no longer in hiding. I feel like I’m 20 again! Who
knew something so simple would make me feel like a different person?
having bangs will help take away some of the pain of growing out my bleached
hair and trying to get back to my natural color.