Bangs, fringe, breakage — whatever you call it, it'll fit in some butterfly clips.
Now that it’s dark by the
time I resurface from the subway during evening rush hour, things have been feeling all
heavy and pensive-like. At first, I though it was the prospect of six months of
parka-clad misery ahead of me in the steely winters of NYC. And then I thought
maybe I was experiencing a latent bout of seasonal depression.
And then I got
kind of bored with feeling weird and did what any young slice entrenched in
ennui would do: I got a haircut.
Save for my biannual dusting, I haven’t given way to a
big chop since two years ago when I lopped off my boob-length mermaid tresses
in favor of some wacky bob in some passive aggressive coup against a candidly
narcissistic ex-boyfriend (ahh l’amour). In fact, I’ve been trying to regrow
the glory of my shiny, bountiful man-trappers (haha, just kidding, those are my
hands) ever since. I’m pretty much back on track, sans bangs this time around
and in no hurry to revert.
Having rather thick hair, it tends to get a bit hippie-cult-member-looking
if not shaped into proper load-bearing formation. Wanting to get rid of the bulk without
sacrificing length, I got in touch with the one cowboy I knew who would do me
right. Enter Zeph, who I met at Arrojo Salon in Soho in my hair-model budgeting
days of yore. (He’s not really a cowboy as far as I know, he just wears a lot of
Zeph actually was the one who Sampsoned me the first time
around and dubiously accepted my request for him to cut me again on one
The cool thing about volunteering to let a budding
professional hack at your looks sort of freestyle (don’t worry, they’re always
supervised by salon stylists) is that sometimes a hookup is extended second
time around when they’re seasoned pros. Which is great for someone as broke and
in need of grooming as me.
countless clients, Z really stepped up his game and, using only a razor, took me
from regular to deluxe in less than an hour flat.
After watching all my freshly snipped strands get swept up
by the lowly students, and a swift blow-dry later, I walked out of the salon
feeling 10 pounds lighter! But just on my head!
What a difference layering makes,
after having mostly one-length hair. My hair has movement and the layers make
what waves are left in my hair look all nice and flippy. Before, my other
go-to hairstyles involved “bun” and “ponytail” and on special greasy occasions
“braids,” but I was suddenly struck with all the possibilities of having
So, I give to you: Things You Can Do With Your Hair Now That You
Don’t Look Like A Hippie Cult Member
The Faux Bob
OK, I know that this has been a “thing” amongst certain
crowds who are probably into buying As Seen On TV gear (anyone have any success
with that Wax-Vac?), but I’m into this
sleight-of-hair trick after now being able to pull it off.
I just took the top
layers and clipped them on top of my dome so I can put the bottom layers in as
flat a bun as I can squash against the lower back of my head; it helps to use
those hair combs used for supporting updos rather than a rubber band to get it
to lie flattish.
And then release the Kraken! By which I mean the top layers of
your hair! Voila, you just took your Business Casual up a notch.
Bardot-Inspired Messy Pigtails
I mean, it’s
pretty effortless. You just put your hair into two low pigtails and then tug
the hair from behind the band a bit so it’s not too tight-looking.
volumizing/texturizing product to the tails to up the sex. Muss up the front
pieces a bit and you are an instant sexpot/creep magnet.
The Poofy Half-Updo
This is something I couldn’t really do with a ton of long
hair and expect to last. It’s much easier to create serious height in your hair
with minimal teasing when it’s a lighter load to bear. It’s like building the
pyramids vs. whipping up meringue--I know, two completely unrelated metaphors!
That’s how different it is!
But seriously, it’s so easy to get that Dusty
Springfield 'do with just some volumizing mousse in top sections of my hair and
then pinning it in place for a vintage spin on my favorite lazy-girl “eh, I
tried” hairstyle. It’s a perfect dichotomy between wholesome '60s
prom queen and retroactive sex kitten.
You may have noticed I’ve said “sex” like, so many times in
this post. I hear sex sells though, and I’m trying to tell you what a good idea
long layers are in your hair.
For a while I felt like long layers were the LA
staple, as the asymmetrical bob is to NYC. That will dawn on you when you
search “long layered hair” on Pinterest and it’s all pictures of Selena Gomez
and J.Lo. But let’s put geography and my absurd generalizations aside and just
go with this for a minute. Medium- to long-haired mavens, I beseech thee. Get on