Bangs, fringe, breakage — whatever you call it, it'll fit in some butterfly clips.
Remember that time I was wielding a
stupid-expensive but really effective hair dryer? You guys were like, “That’s
nice, but WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO GET THE HAIRS TO DO THAT?”
Well, calm down. You
don’t have to yell, all four of you who asked.
I call it "finger drying." I don’t know if that’s some
official term or whatever. One time at the salon, I overheard it being called
“pre-drying” as in blow-drying with your hands before going back in and
finishing with a brush. Seems kind of misleading, no? You could call it "going brush-free" or “séchez à la main” if you fancy.
You don’t have to be really good at origami, or patty-cake, or even have steady perfect-self-manicuring
hands. Y’all got fingers? Can they stand a bit of HEAT? Then we’re
good to go.
I should note that this hair-drying method is useful for
when you want messy, non-uniform waves. Think more Gisele than Vanessa
Hudgens. Perfect for when you’re going out to a party where you know your ex
will be there and you want to look like The OC version of effortless. Even more perfect for when the handle on your round boar-bristle brush snapped off and it was like a hundred dollars so you're not about to just go out and buy a new one.
To begin, take a shower. Or just get your hair wet somehow.
Then wait until your hair is about 50% dry. Now, comb it out with a wide-tooth comb.
OK, so you’re going to want some curl-boosting or
texture-inducing styling goop to aid your style. I’m using Bb Color Minded Styling
Balm because of the obvious reasons, plus it boasts UV protection (also because
they gave it to me when I was at the salon getting my roots touched up and also it
Next, gather a small handful of hair and twist in your
chosen direction. I generally tend to twist away from my face, forever taunting
the feathered spirit goddess that is Farrah Fawcett. Don’t hold on too tight,
it needs a bit of bounce to let air flow towards the center. Like this!
Ok, now you are ready for the heat. If you have a diffuser,
great! You can start with 70% dry hair in that case. But I, ahem, do not. SO.
On the low-flow/high-heat setting, I blow-dry in slow even strokes up and down,
while simultaneously bobbing the twisted hair slightly to let the
heat reach all the hairs in the core.
Once it’s dry, don’t let go--blast
with the cool shot button on. If you don’t have one of those, just turn the heat off and
hang on for about 15-20 seconds until it’s cooled to near-room temp. Do your
fingers hurt? Remember: beauty is pain. But hey, look at the cute piggy-tail
Now repeat that all around your head. It will look crazy!
You will probably doubt ever having followed my counsel! But fear not, little
lambs, I would not lead you astray.
Alright now, crucial styling step ahead: pomade. Good old-fashioned pomade.
Take a small to medium dab, rub it between your palms and get it all warm and
Cool, so just go ahead and DESTROY your hair. I mean, “artfully dishevel” your hair to break up the curl barrels.
I tend to focus on the ends, scrunching them upwards and also
twisting smaller sections to separate them from their heat-twist families and
avoid looking too intentional. Also, massage the roots around the crown of your head a bit to give some bed-heady voluminous lift.
You can do this step with spray wax if you think pomade is
too heavy for your hair, in which case you’d just spray liberally on the
mid-shaft to the ends and break up the curls with your fingers.
Whichever you choose, be sure to
hairspray the living hell out of everything afterwards. I mean, if your hair is anything
like mine, it is heavy and wants to lie DOWN. Hairspray tells it, “NO, hair,
you cannot lie down and be lazy; you must remain styled and alert and looking
good!” Damn straight (or not).
You now look like you just woke up like this (and
probably like you had a pretty good time before you went to sleep too).