Oh, hey, that's just me up there full-on Dita Von Teese-ing and looking all fly and whatnot. Before I got too big a head about it, though my little sister called me and told me "I saw your pictures on Facebook, you look AMAZING...I didn't believe it was you at first."
Wah wah waaaaaaaah.
But seriously, it takes like 2 hours to look that good, and also requires the magic of one Sophie Spinelle, of Shameless Photography, who not only did the retro hair and makeup above but also shot the beautiful photographs as part of the "Vamp Package" given to me by my boyfriend last Christmas. I know!
For $395, I got a full makeover, including makeup & hair styling, vintage and retro wardrobe (although those are my own clothes above), 1 hr photo session and a keepsake disc of over 30 images as well as 2 magazine-quality final images. You know what that means, AIRBRUSHED. It sounds creepy, but she just smooths out clothing wrinkles and stuff; no altering your body shape. Which is good, because God don't make no junk, and this body don't need alterations, am I right?
The whole experience was so amazing and fun that I sighed mid-photo session that I "should've been in porn." Sophie said people usually say they should have been models, but I was trying to be realistic about my career options. Posing for low-rent porno probably wouldn't be as fun anyway, because Sophie's overall radness contributed greatly to the experience. She let me play my Neko Case during the hair and makeup and taught me how to make that pin-up surprised face by pursing my lips and mouthing "too."
Look how cute she is! And while this a pinup photo session from Shameless is a bomb gift to give yourself or others, if you can't afford it right now (or don't live in NYC or San Fran), you can follow her tips for a lightning-fast pinup makeover for under 20 dollars.
Sophie's Fast and Cheap Tips for Looking Like a 40s Bombshell
1. Red lipstick
Use a lipstick brush to smoothly paint on pigment. Exaggerate the heart shape of your upper lip, using concealer to create a lower middle dip if desired. Create a smooth, plump line for the lower lip.
Recommended: Boots No 7 Stay Perfect Lipstick in Cherry. Having used Mac, Chanel, Nars and a lot of other fancy sticks, this one is still my favorite. It's a true red -- not too orange, not too blue -- and it goes on smooth as butter and doesn't feather or bleed, so you won't need a lip liner.
2. Black liquid liner
Create a smooth, elegant line that's thin and delicate at the inner eye and grows gradually thicker at the outside. Symmetry can be hard to achieve, but it's worth the effort. Everyone has one eye that it's easier to line -- usually the right eye if you're right-handed or the left if you're left-handed. Always start with whichever eye is trickiest, because it'll be easier to match the first shape with your steadier hand.
Paint the liner on in one smooth, steady stroke from the outside of your eye to the inside (so that the pigment is thicker where you need it).
After you're satisfied with the basic shape of your liner, add the cat's tail. Keep your eye open at first, draw a line from the corner of your eye toward the end of your eyebrow. Next, close the eye and connect your lid liner to the tail in a pleasing shape, then fill in with liner. To ensure a wide-eyed look, I recommend not lining the lower lid.
Recommended: The folks at Wet n Wild, bless their hearts, created an impressively smooth and easy-to-apply liquid liner for the unbeatable price of $3. The only downside is how often it's sold out at the drugstore!
3. False eyelashes
Do not fear the lash. They will transform your face and glam up your look in no time. It make take a little practice to learn how to apply them, but once you do, you'll have a weapon of mass seduction at your disposal.
First, remove the lashes and see if the strip extends beyond the sides of your eye. If so, trim accordingly. Next, apply glue delicately across the band of the lashes, even if the package says "self-adhesive" (lies and damned lies).
Bend the lashes as the glue begins to dry, ensuring they have enough arch to fit your eye. Apply, starting at the inner eye. Stay as close to your natural lash as possible for the most natural look.