This time last fall, I decided long hair wasn’t cool, and I cut my Kardashian length locks into the sort of wispy shoulder-length look that only works on sexy French girls like Julia Roitfeld.  My boyfriend at the time begged me not to do it. “I love your hair!” he said, “It’s your thing.” But this only made me want to cut it more.

I parted with seven inches and my ability to attract the opposite sex with a flick of the hair. And I didn’t look particularly cool or French. I simply looked … ordinary.

Sure, short hair can be sexy as hell -- look at Amber Rose and Halle Berry -- but those beauties balance their boyish cuts with serious curves. As a straight-up skinny bitch, I don’t have the T and A it takes to carry off shorter hair and still look hot.

So while I wait for my hair to grow back -- yes it’ll take more than a year -- I look to straight-guy-bait, Jessica Simpson, for help from time to time. Jess has hair and curves and she’s such a sweetheart that she’s created her own line of hair extensions, Hair Do, to help those of us who don't. And I’m going to show you how to use them!

Eric says I look Jerseylicious with my amped-up new do, but I’m feeling my new extensions. What do you think? Tell me, tell me (in the comments)!

Styling by Melissa at Cutler. Pictures by Olivia Hall.