Found: Waterproof Beauty Products That Don’t Suck

After much research, I would like to present the Holy Grail of Waterproof Beauty, formulas of beauty that will stay on in a pool, while dancing like a fool and generally through living life on our increasingly hotter planet.

Jul 26, 2013 at 9:00am | Leave a comment

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Everything about summer has something to do with water: too much of it, not enough of it, sweat, heat, condensation dripping from window units, pools and beaches, and water torture. You’re thinking, “Water torture?” and my answer is yes, especially when your neighbor flushes the toilet during your sanity break cold shower and boils you alive. Ah, the pleasures of an old building with charm and ancient plumbing.
 
All that being said, this is the season for which beauty companies live, presenting waterproof beauty products that claim to stay right where you put them. Finding the right formulas makes you a Goldilocks of beauty products: this one’s too sticky, this one slides right off, this one fell onto my contact lenses and blinded me while driving. The right formula has to stay put without cracking or drying, it needs to look luminous and not matte or dull. Seriously, how many of you have used a waterproof product that either looks like an ancient frieze in an hour or it just slides right off your face? Show of hands? Yep, me, too.
 
After much research, I would like to present the Holy Grail of Waterproof Beauty, formulas of beauty that will stay on in a pool, while dancing like a fool and generally through living life on our increasingly hotter planet.
 
Tarte Clean Slate Flawless 12-Hour Brightening Primer -- Essentially, makeup primer acts as a base on which to place your makeup. This waterproof version helps brighten the skin underneath it while it’s on (gotta love beauty products with added benefits) and will help give pretty much any product in your existing makeup bag 12 luscious hours of hope and extra life. If you get nothing else, get this.
 
L’Oreal Voluminous False Fiber Lashes Waterproof Mascara -- L’Oreal makes mascaras that really do deliver what they say they will. This formula delivers come-hither lashes that are the most sculpted, longest, damn-baby-where’d-you-get-those-eyes blackest black that ever existed. It also doesn’t flake off and disintegrate, it won’t bleed and it’s safe for contact lens wearers. I cannot live without it. It completes me.
 
Make Up For Ever Face & Body Liquid Makeup and Full Cover Concealer -- OK, so these are the most expensive things in the bunch, but damned if they don’t work. Dany Sanz, the creator of the brand, developed these products for artists and performers (particularly water ballet performers,) so if they can stay on while diving into tanks of water repeatedly, it can handle sweating on a subway platform and the inevitable summer night hookup. It’s also great for any time your parents are yelling at you to cover up your tattoos at a wedding or some event. It. Does. Not. Move. Also, women of color: the range of hues is GOOD here.
 
Sephora Collection Retractable Waterproof Eyeliner -- OK, so I will just say this: I buy these by the handful and I stash them everywhere. If they ever stop making this eyeliner, I will cry and there will be serious rending of garments. This is the only eyeliner I’ve been able to find that doesn’t eventually wind up sliding down my eyes and blinding me or make me look like I’ve been on a four-day bender. The colors are rich, you have about 30 seconds to a minute to get it where you want it, then go on about your day. Contact lens people, this is the BUSINESS. Get involved.
 
Bite Beauty Honey Lip Lacquer -- It’s got high shine, it’s waterproof AND it’s made with pure manuka honey, which means it also creates a moisture seal on your lips so it soothes and smoothes. Also, let’s discuss that you technically EAT the lip products on your mouth, which can result in the consumption of pounds and pounds of lip products each year. Bite is made without parabens, sulfates, synthetic fragrances, synthetic dyes, petrochemicals, phthalates, GMOs or Triclosan. It’s worth the investment, yes? Added bonus: The colors are really hot.
 
Truth be told, it’s these six products on heavy rotation in my summer beauty routine. It’s too hot to go out in full-on face right now, but if you’re going to make an investment in any waterproof beauty products, these are the ones I’d recommend.
 
Let’s discuss in the comments. Have you ever jumped into a pool and left your face floating on the other side? Ever wiped your sweaty brow and had your brows lying on your arm? Waterproof beauty mishaps? Products I missed? Let’s discuss in the comments below.