IT'S TOO HOT FOR METAL: Stick On These Jewelry-Inspired Temporary Tattoos Instead

Computers, phones and tablets are getting flatter and lighter -- why shouldn’t the rest of your accessories?

Jun 27, 2014 at 2:00pm | Leave a comment

You know when you're at da club and your song comes on and you and your girls can’t help but shake it extra hard when the bass drops? And you’re like, “Damn, my chain is all kinds of hitting me in the face!” 
 
I don’t know. I haven’t been to a club since I was 23, but I have many times at shows or something, experienced a good whacking from chandelier earrings or a long-chained pendant. Ouch. Also -- it’s hot and muggy out and sometimes wearing metal draped on your décolleté is like, get OFF me already. 
 
image
 
Computers, phones and tablets are getting flatter and lighter -- why shouldn’t the rest of your accessories? For this, we look unto Flash Tattoos -- temporary tattoos that you can rub on with water, just like you’d get from 25-cent machines at the grocery store, back when grocery stores had those. 
 
image
 
I don’t have any ink on my skin as it is, mostly because I don’t feel passionately about any one image enough for it to be permanently and expensively needled into my skin forever. I’m not against tattoos; they’re just not for me. I am however forever charmed by temporary tattoos -- they really give me opportunity to indulge all my tackiest predilections. That said, I had more fun than probably intended when I got my hands on Flash Tat’s “Nikki” set.
 
There are four sheets of tatt-able “jewelry” featuring lots of chains, flat pyramid patterns, stars, and chevrons. I guess “Nikki” is like the slightly-hipper/more urban-than-modern-day-MTV girl (possibly also a character from "Skins"). All the sets are named after different girl-names: Sophia appears to be heavy on the fish-scale pattern, and Zahara has lots of feathers and paisley shapes going on. Nikki and Chloe might be frenemies, but Joesphine is like way over it. 
 
image
 
I went HAM with the chevrons and chains on my back, finally giving this American Apparel halter bodysuit a reason to be on my body. They don’t really make regular jewelry for your back, so a bit of gold-painted one makes for a cool “Look at my fancy back!” style. I had my BF apply them. He affectionately referred to them as my “Rhianna tattoos.”
 
image
image
 
I peppered some stars on my legs, and applied this crescent neck-piece across my collarbones, which was probably my favorite one. Reminds me of that Sailor Moon cat, Luna.
 
image
 
They were a hit with the ladies in the design tech department of the clothing company I fit for, finding gold glinting from hemlines of sample blouses, as I sheepishly explained that they were temporary tattoos, and no I don’t think you can get metallic ink in real tattoos (can you?). 
 
image
 
I applied them about three days ago and they’re still going strong. The packaging says they last four to six days “even with regular showering.” Well, they never met me -- she who loathes showers and considers them a necessary chore (mostly because I only wash my hair twice a week).
 
I mean, now that it’s summer and I wake up gross and sticky even if I sleep with the fan or AC on, a shower is a welcome wake-up. So, I’ve showered twice with these so far, making sure not to scrub too hard on the tatted parts. They’re actually quite hardy, not peeling or anything so far, which makes me wonder how the removal process will go. The packaging also warns that these do act as a sort of natural “sun block” so I almost expect to find pale imprints underneath once I take them off. Little pale baby star prints in my thighs and a big ol’ smile on my chest. Looking forward to that. Perhaps inverse-tanning imprints will be the next new “jewelry”?