It's gonna get sappy up in here.
I haven’t written about nail color in a while. Know why? Because it’s hard to get excited about new colors when the big guys keep putting out the same collection of colors every single year.
I swear, the fall collections from a few select brands looked almost exactly the same from 2011-2014. You can't sneak that shit by me.
Now, I’m the first one to understand that the nuanced differences between similar colors are what make them valuable and exciting, but please, give me something other than a navy blue, an orange-red, a cranberry, and a sandy, innocuous beige. Plz plz plz. We deserve better than that.
However, people have apparently gotten it together in 2015 because everyone is coming heavy with it on the beauty tip. Nails lacquers, lip colors, highlighters, we’re finally seeing some innovation in product and color! You may disagree with me, and that’s fine because, like, I’m right.
I haven't written about nails in a while because I’m not gonna cover some boring collection just to have something to write about. I wouldn’t insult you guys like that. And besides, there are so many pop star fragrances to be covered.
Fall 2015 is a nail color renaissance and I’m here to tell you about all the new colors we’re wearing this season. Strap in.
Omg where do I start?
Leggy Legend by Essie, $8.50.
Pretty upset that this color has such a terrible name because LOOK AT IT.
I only wear crème colors because I am very sophisticated, but, I had to make an exception for this. Leggy Legend moves from bright gold to rusty bronze to an oxidized copper depending on the light, with a little bit of red fire every now and again.
I Tweeted a quick photo of a few of Essie’s fall colors when they showed up at my door, and this was the one that you all went nuts about. It’s easy to see why.
Leggy Legend should be an essential to your nail collection because it looks good with pretty much anything.
For starters, shout out to Deborah Lippmann for the Miley Cyrus reference five years later. My, how things have changed.
Deborah Lippmann’s glitters are always like a drug-fueled warehouse rave on your nails and this is a welcome addition to the party.
It’s made up of pewtery-gold glitter suspended in an amber brown base with just a tiny bit of holographic glitter milled in there for a little extra spark.
It gives you a grimy gold manicure that’s unlike pretty much any other glitter out there right now. It’s not worried about being pretty like all of the other glitters, but that’s what sets it apart and makes it beautiful.
Also, it’s almost a one coater. Here it is in one pass:
But use two coats, Jesus Christ. I’m just making a point.
MOOD SWING MAUVES
Did you guys know that I invented mauve? Because I did.
Sally Hansen hits us with three designer collaborations this fall with shades pulled straight from the runway (that wording sucks and I’m sorry) and of course I picked the two boring mauves from the collections because they’re versatile and gorgeous.
Prabal Gurung for Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in Leaf Peeper, $7.99.
“Leaf Peeper.” WHY.
Whatever, it’s stunning.
It’s right in the middle of being a light and dark that it goes with pretty much whatever you’re wearing. It can go from the office to the holiday party you’re dreading after work without making you look like you settled on a work-safe manicure. Is there anything worse?
Rodarte for Sally Hansen Complete Salon Manicure in Rose Glass, $7.99.
A sheer-leaning, dusty fondant rose situation, this builds to almost opaque, still letting your natural nail peek through after two coats.
I wouldn’t call it a “nude” for any skin tone because it’s more pink than it is beige or tan, so I’d say it’s more of a neutral that would be great for any and all shades of skin.
Floss Gloss got its inspiration for Smoke on The Nail from the band Deep Purple because Floss Gloss is the coolest company on earth.
I’ve spent my entire life looking for the perfect purple nail polish and this…well, this still isn’t it, but it’s a great substitute while I search.
The polish itself is a little on the thin side, while still allowing you to reach opacity in two coats. Two layers of the polish gives you an end result that’s right in the middle of a deep, creamy grape and a rich plum. It’s a really smart color that’s half seasonal, half goth, all attitude.
Frock ‘n Roll by Essie, $8.50.
This deep, smokey mauve is cut with a silver flake for an almost black, almost crème manicure, but is so much more than that.
No matter how much I mess with the light levels of these photos, the polish is still reading a bit darker than it is in real life. On my nails IRL, it looked more black than it did mauve, and the silver shimmer was only just noticeable.
I like that, though. I love colors that are basically black but aren’t, that make you do a double take. From the bottle to the nail, Frock ‘n Roll is even more subtle than it lets on, but no less elegant.
Ready for me to fuck up your whole day?
(I know that “duochrome” doesn’t have a hyphen, but last time I wrote about them, you all kept reading it as “douche” so I’m trying to get in front of that.)
Duochrome polishes are hard to come by, and good duochromes are even harder. Cirque Colors is the go-to brand for killer glitters, iridescents, and effect polishes, so it’s no surprise that they hit a home run with their duochromes.
Techno Manifesto shifts from raspberry to gold to green as light moves over it. Ready?
Ghost In The Machine shifts from emerald, to blue, to magenta.
Again, I don’t wear iridescents, but these are too fun not to throw on. They’re bright, bold, and very eye-catching. People stop me and ask what’s on my nails all the time. Everyone loves a duochrome.
Lavish was a pre-fall shade for Floss Gloss, a perfect way to round out summer colors and ease us into autumn, and a SICK addition to the Floss Gloss mafia.
It’s the perfect pastel lavender, and I think of it as their personal love letter to me, the Son of Floss Gloss, since lavender hair is such a irrevocable part of my #personal #brand.
This is another Floss Gloss shade that we just don’t deserve. There’s something about the way they formulate their pastels that make them decadently (I hate that word) creamy, opaque enough to almost do the job in one coat, and BRIGHT.
Floss Gloss pastels almost glow off of your hands. I’ve been wearing it for five days and have been getting mad compliments left and right, which is great because I want people to worship me at all times, and if Lavish is what it takes to make that happen, then I’m never taking it off.
What are your favorite fall nail colors? Do you change your color palette seasonally? What are you wearing on your nails right now? Throw a picture down in the comments, you hotties.
Tynan's nails are sick on Twitter @TynanBuck.