It's gonna get sappy up in here.
I've never actually liked Halloween that much. I'm not crafty, and in my drinking days, planning ahead enough to buy a costume to wear seemed like way too much effort just to go get drunk. (Opening my mail also seemed like a ton of effort back then.)
"I don't need to get dressed up to drink," I would complain. "I drink in my regular clothes all the time." Meanwhile, all normal drinkers in the area whistled while backing away from me slowly.
I also didn't really like competing with other sluts. All it takes is one chick in a schoolgirl skirt to keep me paying for my own shots all night. Amateurs. Where's your schoolgirl skirt the other 364 days of the year, huh? It's a culture, not a costume!
I haven't been out on Halloween in years, and I guess my continued indifference to the holiday now stems from the fact that I don't really need an excuse to look outlandish. Mandy wrote the other day that men's eyes follow me down the street, which is very flattering, but I'm pretty sure they're just trying to figure out what they're looking at.
I used to wear crazy shit to party in, and now that I don't really party, it's even more important to wear crazy shit so that everybody knows that I'm not some BORING OLD SOBER MOM. Or not just that, anyway. It's all part of my lifelong philosophy of keeping it at least a little weird, always. Have a corporate day job that requires you to wear black slacks on the regular? Bartend topless at night every once in awhile! All your friends spending nights at home with their new husbands? Good thing you still know some junkie freaks! Don't do drugs? Wear a pink wig!
Needless to say, I have never gotten the problem with looking "costume-y." Case in point: wigs! I have mentioned to you before that I keep a distinctly witch-like "hair closet" in my home, which includes creepy stacks of hair extensions in varying hair colors. Like Gollum with his precious ring, I've become obsessed with filling my weird little shrine to thick, luscious hair. I've also been using this really dumb line whenever people tell me my hair looks good -- "Thanks, but it's Jessica Simpson's hair." Why can't I ever just leave the sausage in the factory?
Anyway, I recently decided to take my fake hair game to the next level and buy a wig. I purchased the Peaches and Cream wig from MissVioletLace, wig purveyor to the glamorous women of Etsy. In my wig research, I discovered some minor scandal involving the shop from earlier in the year accusing the woman behind the store of buying wigs from eBay and marking them up to sell in her own store, where prices run between 70-110 dollars. For her part, she says she reconstructs and redesigns all the wigs before selling them.
I took a look at eBay's wig offering and personally found it difficult to navigate, so I was happy to pay a bit more for the assurance of a cute, quality wig, and to see them on a real person vs. a mannequin. (My wig also came with a "Frosted Cupcake" scented wig perfume.) I am not a wig expert, so it was just easiest for me. Some of you will prefer cheaper options. Associate Beauty Editor Hannah recommends Wigs.com, but there is too much scouring to be done there for my tastes. I have a job and a baby and a reality singing show competition habit, ya'll!
I just wear my Peaches and Cream wig with basic wig cap that I got for like a dollar at a beauty supply store. In retrospect, I wish that I had asked her to sew clips into my wig, which she'll do for 7 extra dollars. Even for someone at attention-starved as me, a pink curly wig isn't really an everyday work look, and I don't want to worry about it falling off my head while I get down at da club or a fancy sex party.
And a look that dramatic on the head calls for something pretty spectacular on the face, so it seemed like a good time to try out these eye stickers by mily Make-up Boutique, which I discovered on Gilt Groupe a few weeks ago. I got samples of both les classiques de mily liners and the eye flashes and mini eyeflashes.
They're sold out on Gilt, but still purchasable here for $30 a pack. Each pack has 10-12 reusable pairs of eye stickers in different styles.
They're fairly easy to use, although I recommend that you watch the videos of Mily applying the eye stickers before you try it yourself, because in retrospect, I did the eyeflashes an incorrect and much more difficult way than I needed to, although they still look cool. Bonus: The eyeflash video is set to a cool remixy version of that Zoobezoobezoo song. Le timely!
The best part was that the stickers are fairly easy to remove and readjust when you screw up, and they stay sticky enough for re-use.
It's not that often that there are major technological advances in the world of cosmetics. It's pretty much been the same essential stuff (lipstick, eye shadow, mascara) for decades, so I think the sticker craze in nails and eyes is sort of awesome and notable. It reminds me of when TGIFridays came out with, like, Mac and Cheese Bites and Crispy Green Bean Fries and all these appetizers the world had never seen before. It's like, THE FUTURE IS NOW, MAN.
What's your favorite innovation of the last decade, edible or otherwise? How do you keep it weird? Do you want to go to a fancy sex party later? Tell me stuff on Twitter @msemilymccombs.