5 Awesome Lipsticks And The Excuses You Can Use To Impulse-Buy Them

Just in case you need to justify it to your mom/dad/partner/sister/cat.
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Publish date:
November 4, 2014
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makeup, shopping, lipstick, nars, Too Faced, bobbi brown, estee lauder, kat von d

There’s this problem I have. It’s called working in Midtown Manhattan and having a Sephora directly next to the entrance of my subway.

Usually, I try take another entrance to the train to avoid it all together, because I know if I go in, I won’t come out until at least one hour and one hundred dollars later.

Do you feel me?

But it’s not the actual impulse purchase that is the problem. Some of life’s game-changers (NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer, for instance) have been the direct result of some otherworldly force pulling me into the cosmetics store and showing me what I want and need before I even knew it myself. The problem is the guilt that comes with the impulse purchase. It’s that nagging voice in the back of my head -- the one totally opposite of Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle encouraging me to treat myself -- the one reminding me of the late Internet bill and the rent and that we ran out of gourmet cat food. That’s the problem.

However, my gorgeous ones, I’m here to tell you not to feel guilty about your next impulse buy. Some of life’s greatest (beauty) discoveries come from occasionally plunging into the unknown of Sephora (or your makeup store of choice) and coming out the other side a changed person, because you’ve finally found a mascara that doesn’t cake and flake, and now, you’re more able to tackle the less-fun areas of life looking and feeling that much better.

I’ve recently gotten my hands on a bunch of fun new lipsticks, all different shades, textures and finishes. I didn’t have any real reason to do this other than to spice up my life from my usual routine. But lucky for you, I’ve invented perfect excuses for you to get any of these shades; that way, you’re equipped with justification to your mom/dad/partner/sister/cat as to why you dropped $28 on lipstick.

For a Date with Someone You Aren’t Serious About

Kat Von D Everlasting Love Lipstick in Outlaw, $19

I LOVE this Kat Von D stay-all-day lipstick. I usually hate all-day wear lipstick because my lips are prone to cracking and chapping, but this smooth matte finish is unwavering. It goes on like butter and when it dries, it’s as if nothing is on your lips at all.

This type of wear is perfect for a date where you don’t know the other person that well but find them supremely attractive and you hope the night ends in a steamy make-out sesh in the back of a dark bar. Why? Because the color won’t smudge or fade, leaving you free to concentrate on body-talk without worrying whether or not you look like a clown.

Not a bold red lip fan? Try the shade Backstage Bambi, which is a vivid hot pink that will communicate equally slutty intentions.


To Convince Everyone at Work/School/Home that You Are a Put-Together Person and NOT a Hot Mess

Bobbi Brown Rich Color Gloss in Dusty Rose, $25

This has been my go-to lip gloss ever since my lips met its sweet, sweet embrace. It’s ultra-moisturizing and shines on the lips without that nasty goopy-gloss feeling. And the best part is, even if you are actually a hot mess (like me), you don't have to worry about committing time or effort into wearing this stuff. Rub it on haphazardly in the elevator, and no one will know.

The gloss comes in a few shades, but I love the Dusty Rose because it’s a sort of mysterious color -- not quite pink and not quite purple -- which, to me, suggests that the wearer has a sense of self-assuredness. This lip gloss says, “No, I’m not pink and I’m not purple, but somewhere in between. I don’t define myself because I don’t need to. Why put me in a box?”

For Your First Day at a Real Job After Being a Perpetual Intern

NARS Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Never Say Never, $25

So you’ve been desperate for a job in publishing/theater/journalism/“media” and have been taking no-pay, or next-to-no-pay, internships for a few more years than you are comfortable admitting publicly. You’re exhausted and almost burnt out from the nights and weekends you spend waitressing or bartending in order to pay your bills while pursuing your (very expensive) dreams.

And then one day -- what? A real job offer? The shitty pay is at least livable? With benefits? And oh-my-god no more work clothes that smell like burritos?!

Your first day at that big-girl job is important. Make an impression. I love this NARS product because it wears very naturally -- the crayon-style lip pencil has a smooth, matte finish without being drying or chunky. Never Say Never is the perfect shade for your first day. The pinky lilac says, “I am here. I have arrived. I am LEGITIMATE.”

When You take that Vacation to a Warm, Inexplicably Gorgeous Place

Estee Lauder Pure Color Envy Sculpting Lipstick in Impassioned, $30

Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone but us is jetting off to Hawaii or the Italian countryside or South Africa or California every other day? The amount of vacation photos in my Facebook newsfeed from former peers and classmates constantly leaves me wondering two things: 1) Who is bankrolling your adventures, cause it sure ain’t you and 2) WHY NOT ME?

One day, I’ll get a fancy vacation that doesn’t involve sleeping on a family member’s couch, but instead sleeping in crazy-expensive sheets at a hotel with pillow mints and a balcony view of something AWESOME. When that happens, I’m going to be wearing this luxurious shade from Estee Lauder. The full-coverage wear of this densely pigmented lipstick is creamy and dreamy.

While orangey lipstick doesn't always have place in my everyday life, it absolutely has a place in my fantasy vacation life. I’ll keep this shade in my rotation for whenever I need a reminder of better things to come, and OF COURSE when my tropical vacation actually comes. You should, too.

When You’re Broodily “Working On Your Novel” in a Bar/Coffee Shop

Too Faced La Creme Lipstick in Divine Wine, $22

Before my cat spilled ginger ale all over my laptop and rendered it useless, I was a big fan of writing in public. How can you be an official writer if no one sees you doing it? If you want the part you better play the part. Fake it till you make it, et cetera, et cetera.

In order to accomplish the perfect broody writer image while you tap-tap away at the keys and sip your dry red wine or your straight espresso (or both, for the most hardcore among us), you better have the right lipstick. Enter: Too Faced’s Divine Wine.

This lipstick goes on like a stain, without the issues that come with stains (getting stuck in the cracks of your lips forever, for instance). You can get a more refined look if you apply a lip liner before the lipstick, but I personally like the look and feel of it as-is. It has a smudgy, casual, gonna-leave-a-lip-stain-on-my-glass kind of vibe, which is exactly what we’re going for. The dark bordeaux shade is perfect for any moodiness you’re hoping to project -- but this lip cream comes in a host of other colors.

Have you had any luck with an impulsive makeup purchase recently? Tell me all about it, and your excuses for the splurge.