Wake Up, Sleepy Eyes! A Guide To Looking Less Tired

Puffy, tired-looking eyes plaguing you? I may have a solution.

Aug 30, 2011 at 2:00pm | Leave a comment

I don't exactly keep the best sleep hours. Most nights I go to bed anywhere between 2 and 8 a.m., and depending on whether or not I have to work, I'm awake again in a short amount of time. And it shows.

I'm constantly getting that wonderful, unwelcome comment from people: "You look tired." And to that I say, Hey man, what makes you think I need to be told that?

I know that I'm yawning every 25 seconds. I realize that I am changing the lyrics to popular songs in my head to make them about sleep ("I don't wanna work/at my job/'cause I am tired/I want to go to bed/and go to sleep/sor-ryyyyy/doot do doot do do do/doot do doot do do do"). And I am well aware that I have massive puffy bags under my eyes and dark, dreary circles that scream "ME SLEEPY."

So out of my irritation, I went looking for a solution, and I feel like maybe I've found a few. If you too are suffering from random, possibly well-meaning but otherwise irritating strangers bothering you about your fatigued appearance, heed my advice instead of punching them out. You'll look and feel better in the long run!

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 1. Get a spoon

Yeah, this is kind of a weird tip, but I find that when I stick with it, it works. Take a large spoon and stick it in the freezer. Every morning, press the convex side underneath your eyes on your puffiest parts and hold for a few seconds. The cold soothes puffiness and the pressing motion sort of massages your eyes.

I guess puffiness is a form of fluid retention, and apparently if you also massage from the outsides of your eyes inward, it helps push some of that fluid out. But the cold spoon! The cold spoon works, OK. Do it while you wait for your coffee to brew, or whatever.

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2. Conceal -- the right way

Some people think that putting the lightest concealer for their skin tone is the best way to conceal dark circles. Oh, this is such a silly way of thinking. A pale whitish ring around your eyes looks just as bad as a dark, bruisey one.

Find a concealer that matches the rest of your face and blend under your eyes until everything looks nice and uniform. My favourite concealer right now for undereye bags is Hard Candy's Glamouflage Heavy Duty Concealer, which you can buy at Wal-Mart for around 5 dollars.

This concealer was actually made for concealing tattoos, so it has an awesomely thick, opaque and creamy consistency that covers imperfections like a boss. You also only need to the tiniest bit so use sparingly!

3. Eyedrop it like it's hot

Wait, give me a moment to deal with the embarrassment of just typing that. Phew. OK.

Eyedrops can be a wonder for a few reasons. Sometimes redness and dark circles are caused by allergies (besides sleep deprivation, this is the case for me, the girl allergic to everything). I use prescription eyedrops to get the red out and soothe any itchiness and irritation, but over the counter Visine will work just fine, and it makes your eyes look all glossy and dewy and fresh and revived, like you've actually maybe slept a little bit. Or you've been crying in the bathroom. Whatever!

4. Find your dream eye cream

This is sort of not really a tip because I am looking to you, my dear readers, for an answer with this. I have yet to find that wonder eye-cream that solves everything. The eye cream that rids me of puffiness, lightens my dark circles, and softens those little crinkly lines that are starting to form from all of my squinting (damnit Hannah, why don't you ever wear your glasses?!)

So tell me what eye creams make all of your dreams come true. I am eager to find my OTEC (One True Eye Cream, it's a thing). I've heard a lot of good things about Kiehl's Creamy Eye Treatment With Avocado ($27, kiehls.com). Who wants to vouch for it?

Aside from eye cream recommendations, tell me all of your look-alive tips. From one sleepy girl to another, I think we can all use the help.