BEAUTY IS PAIN: I Keep Burning Myself With A Curling Iron And Other Beauty Injuries

Turns out, we've all hurt ourselves in the name of beauty. Spoiler alert: Tynan burned his penis.
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Publish date:
March 13, 2015
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Tags:
pain, injuries, burns, curling irons

I've curled my hair twice in the past three weeks and have burned the shit out of my face also exactly twice.

One of those times I was using one of those crazy curling wands that requires a glove and is pretty much designed to burn you. That time I managed to burn both my cheek and a little spot on my neck. The other time I gave myself a little raspberry burn on my forehead, thankfully concealed by my bangs. At that point, it became pretty clear that I cannot be trusted with a curling iron. My hair looked cute, though.

I'll admit, walking around with weird facial burns may have slightly undermined the good hair. A couple of people actually acted really weirdly suspicious when I said they were curling iron burns, but I couldn't figure out what they thought actually happened. Crack pipe mishap? Face hickey?

I figure I can't be the only one who has suffered for my looks, so I asked the xoEditors if they'd ever hurt themselves in an attempt at beautification, and the results were pretty awesome. Spoiler alert: Tynan burned his penis.

(BTW, a little hydrocortisone cream sped up the healing process and my face is almost normal again. It may leave a scar, though, so give me your best scar-treating advice please and thank you. )

Now, MORE BEAUTY INJURIES!

Rachel: I literally just pulled a muscle in my neck while blow drying my bangs.

Jane: I took my favorite blow dryer to Europe with me and burned my scalp so badly that I had a bald spot because I didn't realize the power outlets are stronger there.

Marci: I recently scratched my eyeball with a wooden shard from a poorly sharpened eye pencil. Tight-lining, man. It’s dangerous.

Louise: When I was learning to shave my legs in middle school, I thought if I pressed down REALLY HARD I'd get more hair off. I shaved a strip of skin off my shin. I still have the scar.

Pia: Eeek. Between hot combs, flat irons, and curling irons, my scalp, ears, and hairline have been burned more than I could ever count. Then there are the numerous chemical burns from relaxers, which have been numerous. I've also gotten chemical burns on my body back in the day from leaving old school Nair on too long, and I've shaved chunks of my legs off in similar fashion as Louise. Chunks. Also infections from eyelash glue, and I just remembered the "pressure bumps" on my hairline as a child -- welts that pop up from braids that are too tight.

To this day, if I'm having a stylist do a relaxer, braids, or weave (I usually do 'em myself), I bring my prescription antibiotic ointment because blood is shed so often. I also usually do a shot of something strong....I feel like I'm cheating or something, LOL.

Alison: Flash yourself back to when I used to go clubbing every single night of the week while wearing TONS of mascara, eyeliner, and non-stop false eyelashes.

As a very smart (but totally broke) youth, I always picked my mascara-clumped lashes apart with the pointy end of an open safety pin. You can fill in the blanks and guess my injury. Then I got smart and bought this tool. (But my tale really does illustrate just how useful the humble safety pin is.)

Marianne: My injury is more mundane and not self-inflicted: my very first "big girl" haircut when I was a little kid involved the snipping of my upper ear and a ton of blood. Still have a notch in my upper ear cartilage. Still hate scissors by my ears.

Daisy: I pierced my own bellybutton when I was fifteen... mmmmmm oozey infection. I got sent to reform school a few weeks later though and they made me take it out. #blessings

Tynan: In high school I was straightening my hair naked and dropped the hot straightener on my penis.

Amber: In an attempt to dig a blackhead out of my face, I left myself with a huge unsightly scab. It lasted for two months...and was terrible.

Courtney: I've sliced my Achilles in the shower while shaving, and waxed my lip skin off... Oh and one time I tried one of those at home cuticle remover tools -- it was like running a potato peeler over my fingers.

Well, I think if we've learned anything here today it's this: No heat styling while naked.

I've also definitely chemical burned my scalp with bleach and my face with an at-home peel. (Flashback to that time Julieanne burned her face with chemicals from the Internet.) Please share your beauty injuries in the comments, as well as your good wishes for Tynan's penis. From what I hear, it's doing fine today.