So, if you've read many of my articles you will know that I am A: married, and B: disgustingly in love with my husband. We are kind of the embodiment of this Irving Berlin tune (it’s great and you should give it a listen), at least when we’re not in public. We complete each other’s sentences and are generally horrible, but because of our vomitous gooeyness I am able to tell you all about the kiss tolerances of various lipsticks, some of these with demonstrations. (Only some because getting D to stand still long enough to photograph him is like trying to kill an adorable kitten with Wolverine-like regeneration abilities -- almost impossible and something you feel guilty about if you manage it).
I will rate these by the most intense form of kissing they’re able to deal with before they smear all over your face/your partner's face.
What it can take: Honestly, it holds up to stuff that would probably be TMI to talk about.
Comments: This stuff is a miracle. It’s bright intense color that doesn’t leave my husband wearing accidental cream blush or lipstick in a color that really only looks good on me. (I’m more of a winter while D’s more of a spring so my fucsia lipstick just doesn’t flatter him). It’ll stay on through ahem… things in the bedroom. The only thing that makes it smear is grease, so it’s probably not an ideal choice if your partner is wearing lip gloss, or a non-matte lipstick or if you’re going to go to that new BBQ place you just heard about. (If you’re going to the new BBQ place you should probably just forgo lipstick for the duration of the meal because nothing on god’s green earth is going to stop that from turning into a mess.)
What it can take: It’ll transfer to your partner’s skin after even a little peck on the cheek (see photos) but the color will remain vibrant on your mouth, until we get into some of the more passionate locking of lips (when it will still remain vibrant… but will have spread it’s vibrant self quite thoroughly across everyone’s face.
Comments: D said this one was more difficult than he would have assumed to get off, but that it tastes pleasantly of cherries. Frankly I love the colors these lipsticks come in, the flavor, and how moisturizing they are on my lips, so although they will get everywhere if you’re in a situation where you are putting your mouth on things, I still really like them.
What it can take: There will be a smudge on a person’s cheek should you kiss them there, buuut, if you, like me, love wearing the vibrant and classic “Fire and Ice” red, it’ll look kind of glamorous. However, it will get smeary should you go past a chaste peck on the lips. And woe betide you should you make out wearing this stuff, because you will look kind of like Heath Ledger’s Joker afterward. This shit is PIGMENTED.
Comments: It is as moisturizing as Revlon’s old commercials say, and comes in a huge number of colors. I’m currently working on collecting all of them, because I have a problem (and that problem is loving lipstick more than is probably healthy). Husband found this one semi-tricky to get off.
What it can take: This super moisturizing lipgloss can't take a whole lot in the kissing department -- it starts to fade and transfer with even the lightest of cheek kisses.
Comments: D likes the taste of this one, and said he was surprised by how well the neutral pale coral shade (Apple Strudel) suits him, though he was less than fond of how sticky it said it made him feel, a point with which I agree. It’s nice for little pecks when you want to leave a hint of lingering sweetness on your lover’s lips, not so great for hot and heavy make out sessions. Also the Apple Strudel shade does look good on literally everyone, adding just the healthiest hint of color to the lips along with high wattage shine. (And yes, it also looks lovely on dark skin tones, adding a subtle blush and shine that makes it look like the wearer was just kissed and or is blushing in a coy and charming manner.)
What it can take: Understandably it transfers easily. That’s what balms do -- they’re the exact opposite of ultra matte ultra pigmented formulas that stay in place forever. It’s easy to get off and the slight pepperminty flavor makes these pretty pleasant to wear for kissing, but you will have to reapply afterward.
Comments: D says he likes the taste of this one as well and how the sheer shades are easy to get off. I like it because it’s moisturizing, though the sheer natural-looking color isn’t exactly my usual look.
What it can take: It smears, but only in the loveliest most aesthetic way. It’s perfect retro glamour and has a subtle pleasant taste. After a romantic evening out there’s something just exquisite about smearing your perfectly applied makeup all over your beloved’s face.
Comments: The tube is glamorous looking and the lipstick feels heavenly on the lips. D says it makes him think of something from a 1930s cabaret singer’s dressing table.
What it can take: It’s not quite as indelible as Stila’s liquid lipstick, but Kat Von D’s contribution to the world of long-wearing lip color is still pretty damned fine in my book. It stays on through the most passionate of embraces, and the eating of most non-greasy food.
Comments: The colors are crisp and lovely and vibrant. I only wish there was more variety. D says it makes my lips feel slightly dry, which is of course common with long wearing lipsticks, but I wouldn't say it's worse than any other in that respect.
And with that I've reviewed all the lipsticks D would cooperate in testing.