Everything About Me Is Fake Including My Brows -- The 2 Products I'm Into Lately

PLUS how to get rid of gray hairs in a pinch!

Mar 19, 2013 at 12:00pm | Leave a comment

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So you guys know I'm fake as shit, right? Between my hair and lash extensions, I've taken to responding to all compliments with "Thanks, it was really expensive."

I'm a firm believer in improving what nature gave you. Can you imagine if I'd lived in olden times and had to just walk around all the time with the face and hair I wake up with? I'd never leave my castle or whatever.

Lately, perhaps as a side effect of working with BrowMaster Annie K, I've been really into big bold brows, which I do not have naturally. My brows are sort of sparse-ish and the same groundhog-brown shade as my natural hair. Or at least what I PRESUME my natural hair color to be from faint memories of what it looked like last time I saw it in junior high.

All I know about my natural hair color now is that I've been getting some little hair-dye-resistant grays poking through in my bangs, which actually, brings me to a digression about another product I recently tried, the Oscar Blandi Root Touch-Up and Highlight Pen. I think I just like, found this on my desk. It shampoos out, so it's kind of a weird temporary solution but it worked perfectly for me in that moment because I was going out and hadn't had time to do anything about my Bonnie Raitt bang situation.

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Before and after using the pen

Speaking of gray hairs, and the little crow's feet you can see in that first picture up top, I just want to take this opportunity to state publicly that I will be turning 30 in May, in case I try to backpedal and lie about my age later. Enter that shit into the public record. My grandmother turned 29 every year until she turned 90 and it was actually very adorable, but I'm going to try to keep it real. (While still keeping it totally fake, as is the point of this article.)

Oh dear, where ARE we? I've gotten totally off-track.

Upping your brow game. Anybody can, and should, use a brow pencil. I'm currently working with the Anastasia Brow Wiz in Brunette, but I also really like the (cheaper) Sephora version. Here's where it gets next level: tinted brow gel. Anastasia really does have the most exciting brow products and I've been getting tons of compliments on mine since I started using this one-two punch to cheat them.

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Anastasia Beverly Hills Tinted Brow Gel

The gel affixes to the hair, so you can't use this product to create larger brows if you're overtweezed, but it's the perfect thing for tinting light brows or filling in sparse areas. You have to apply lightly to make sure you're tinting the hair and not just smearing the gel onto your skin, which would look weird. After I use the gel, I refine the shape and fill in a little more with a brow pencil in the same shade. Light fluttery strokes, like the worst sex I can imagine. I like to make them sort of square in the front.

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Ignore the zit, scope the brows

And there you have it! Big fake brow action from two 20-dollar products, much cheaper than getting extensions anywhere. What products keep your brow game tight? Do you lie about your age? Did you miss me when I didn't write at all last week? I'm having personal problems I can't write about and kind of wish I were dead.