I Never Did Acid, but I Love These Psychedelic Beauty Products

I may no longer consume psychedelics, but I’ll still smear Day-Glo bright blush all over my face!

Feb 27, 2013 at 10:00am | Leave a comment

I was listening to Neon Indian’s song, “I Should Have Taken Acid With You,” this morning when I realized I should’ve taken acid.

I wasn’t regretting not choosing to trip balls for the first half of my workday. Rather, I recently kicked a whole bunch of habits that might’ve included illicit substances (and I feel great, thanks!). 

On my “List of Drugs I Want to Try,” though, acid has gone uncrossed. Now, I can only look from my sober sideline at this missed opportunity mournfully and wonder, What could’ve been? Would I have had mind-opening experiences and seen colors that didn’t exist? Or HEARD colors and SEEN noises for a truly synesthetic trip? Would I have sobbed until boogers bubbled out of my nose and then thrown up in a stranger’s lawn, like my one dude friend did? 

Does the world look like this on acid? Please tell me.

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I don’t know! It’s so frustrating, like that time I was at a house party, on mushrooms for the first time (bad idea), and this guy who wasn’t even drinking kept pointing to things and asking, “What does this look like on mushrooms? This? This?” 

Alas, just for today the only way I can know what it’s like to take acid is from the stories of other people who have done it, the movies and books that describe it, and by referencing my past with psychedelics and reading online boards that I assume were started by 17-year-old boys to see how these drugs compare and contrast to LSD.

(Except one 17-year-old boy in this forum says comparing shrooms and LSD is “dumb” and that it’s like comparing strawberry ice cream and chocolate -- both of which I happen to like very much.) 

Let us all celebrate the psychedelic spirit of acid with this makeup:

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Do the Bright Thing Makeup Kit by Benefit, sephora.com

The first thing that comes to mind when I think of acid besides, “Potentially awesome -– or horrifying!” is San Francisco. Because, hello, Haight-Ashbury hippies (and now the teenage runaways who go there, take lots of hallucinogens, and try to relive the beatnik dream). Here’s yet another adorable sample pack from Benefit (an SF company) that uses some neat font and image combo to get me to buy their tiny products. And there’s a beautiful lady HIPPIE on this one! They get me every time!

Their kits, of course, are a great way to try new products. But this is full of some top-notch stuff: A few dots of High Beam under your brow bone and near your tear duct makes you look awake, Bad Gal Eyeliner is a staple, and They’re Real! Mascara is the best thing that’s ever happened besides maybe the moments I could’ve had on acid. (Sorry, I lost myself there.)

Throw these baby products in your gym bag, purse, or in your pocket before you go on a desert excursion wondering, “Who am I?” and “What is life?” 

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Aquataenia Eyeshadow Palette, $34, limecrime.com

Lime Crime has the sickest, most mind-altering colors, and just thinking about the combos this palette can create is tripping me out. I love the creamy consistency of their makeup -- the pigment actually comes out opaque on your skin, so you don’t have to sit there and build up layers with your brush or add water to create a more solid, vibrant hue.

These colors together are supposed to be “reminiscent of a mermaid’s tail under the moonlight,” according to the product’s description, which I’m positive means whoever thought of this palette has consumed a ton of LSD. 

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NARS Blush in Desire, $29, narscosmetics.com

This image doesn’t do this blush justice –- this color is Day-Glo BRIGHT. I know you’re tempted to pick up NARS’s Orgasm like everybody else. But go -- go toward the shock of neon as a college kid who consumes some blotters and thinks she’s a glass of orange juice would. Use the color sparingly on the apples of the cheeks, and you’ll look sexy-flushed, not insane (unlike a college kid who thinks she’s a glass of orange juice). 

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Makeup Forever Aqua Eyeliner in Electric Purple, $23 

I originally included this eyeliner because it’s WAY waterproof. I cry every time I laugh, and the last time I did hallucinogens -- which was before I discovered this product -- I sat on a park bench for six hours in the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and giggled until my eye makeup was no more.

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Would I love my zigzag fur and printed silk dress even MORE on acid?

But then I realized this dope, shimmery purple is called Electric Purple, and concluded that my romanticization of acid is entirely Tom Wolfe’s fault. Did you know I did a whole thesis in college on how LSD influenced journalism? I did.

 

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Smashbox Nylon Nude Lipstick, $19, sephora.com

Did you see The Rum Diary? (This isn’t a suggestion you should –- it put me to sleep, twice. It’s also adapted from my least favorite Hunter S. book.) There’s this part where Johnny Depp and some other man I can’t remember because the movie was so boring eat acid and they look stare at each other’s faces and shit gets WEIRD. 

I quite lovingly poke fun of very-nude lipstick for making it look like you have no lips. For some reason, though, I adore it! Smashbox seems to make the best –- it goes on so smoothly, and has this buttery texture that you’ll love to put on, no matter how messed up you are. Plus, this lipstick has just the right amount of shine, so it doesn’t “erase” your lips completely. 

Do people look like this on acid? Or should I try out another Photo Booth effect? Also, see the Smashbox Lipstick! 

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What’s your most beloved psychedelic makeup? And if you’ve done acid, please tell me what a memorable trip was like, so I can live vicariously through you.