I started my working life on and up until three days ago thought I might actually die there, instead I just resigned. Oh yes, that’s right, I’m just wild (read completely irresponsible). It’s okay though my parents have cash. Don’t hate me. They don’t actually give me any but if my only choice is to sell my be-stretchmarked body on the street I’m pretty sure they’ll bail me out.

Age: 30 and living the dream

Twitter: @Vron18

What I Do, Job-wise: Well, currently retraining as a paralegal. I am hoping Gabriel Macht will get me a job on Suits (what do you mean they’re not really lawyers? Well, I would also make an awesome actress when I grow up)

What I Do, Fun-wise: Make other women feel uncomfortable by singing Meatloaf’s ‘I would do anything for love’ to them at karaoke. Eat steak. Drink margaritas. Take pictures of my son in his sleep so that when he’s being a pain in my butt I can look at the pictures and choose not to give him up for adoption.

My Motto: Delicious ambiguity. (If you don’t know what’s going to happen, that’s fine, in fact it’s better than fine, it’s delicious)

My Anti-Motto: No pain, no gain. Rubbish. I know plenty of ways to get ahead without giving head – hang on, that’s a completely different motto.

The First Movie Star I Ever Had A Crush On: I was a late starter preferring real boys that I actually had a chance of snogging. So see below.

My “celebs to make out with” list: Chris Hemsworth as Thor. Chris Hemsworth as himself. Sean Bean as Sharpe. Viggo Mortenson as Aragorn. Hmm, I think I might have a fetish.

The Most Played Song On My iTunes: Don’t stop believing by Journey

Last Book I Read Without Skimming Any Parts: All of the Game of Thrones series – I barely made it back from the Seven Realms. Quite frankly England just can’t compare to mugging about waving a sword and realising you find a horny dwarf immensely attractive.

My Most Worn Item of Clothing: My black Cos (sex) dress. It looks good everywhere, even on the floor...

Beauty Products That I Hoard: Rust coloured eye shadow – perfect for blue eyes.

I smell like: My first reaction was to say sex, but mainly I think that’s wishful thinking. In reality I smell like Euphoria, Calvin Klein.

I Have Faked An Orgasm (Yes/No): All the best women have.