I was born in South Dakota and made it all the way to Nebraska before giving up. I’ve written for a living since 1996, mainly for tech and gaming outlets, but along the way kind souls have paid me to create everything from ginormous grant applications to full-length Shakespearean plays (complete with music).

Age: 38

Twitter: @tbyrlbaker (as you can see, I still haven’t found a use for Twitter yet)

Email: me@thisisthesite.com

What I Do, Job-wise: This.

What I Do, Fun-wise: Play board games or watch irredeemably awful television when I’m not reading.

My Motto: Lord willing and Jesus tarries.

My Anti-Motto: The lyrics to “Row, Row, Row Your Boat.”

The First Movie Star I Ever Had A Crush On: Raquel Welch. Or Jane Seymour. Or Linda Carter. Whomever I saw first.

My “celebs to make out with” list: Those who would make my wife most jealous.

The Most Played Song On My iTunes: “Where is My Mind?”, The Pixies.

Last Book I Read without Skimming Any Parts: Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry.

My Most Worn Item of Clothing: My Marvin the Martian T-shirt.

Beauty Products That I Hoard: Photoshop filters.

I Smell Like: Old Spice, without the Spice.

I Have Faked An Orgasm (Yes/No): Only once, but I was alone and late for an appointment.