how not to be a dick
Please do not say you’re ready to order when you’re not and then say, “Hey, just tell me what’s YOUR favorite thing on the menu.” The truth is, I’m a gluten-free vegetarian who doesn’t drink. I have no idea.
do this don't
Screw a purse. I'm a grown-ass woman who wears a backpack.
standup comedy
I’m a comedian, which is a male-dominated sport. And, no matter how accepting of men I’ve become, I’m still convinced that whenever a bunch of guys get together at once, things get a little dick-swingy.
This guy walked up to me and asked me what was wrong. He said, “When I’m freaking out, I hang upside down.” What?