Over time, we scrapped the pretenses of a story line and went straight to humping. It was just part of what we did -- just like riding bikes, setting things on fire in the cemetery and raiding our big sisters’ Sassy Magazine stashes.
I found Fun Betty (hot pink) on sale for $12.59, and sent the following email to my husband: "I will be dying my pubic hair pink and writing about it on the Internet. Don't judge me."
At first he only threw things. That graduated to blocking my path out of the house and threatening to harm our pets. I wasn't a shining example of civility, either.