Other items that perk me up include ice coffee the size of my head, and all of the cookies that there are.
lists
being fat all over the internet
A meme on the internet is at it’s best when it’s charming and vaguely stupid. But this isn’t always the case, because, as time and trolls have proved, the internet has some dark corners.
Rebecca in
Issues,
being fat all over the internet,
being fat in the world,
bathing suits,
internet memes,
fatness
Jun 14, 2013 at 10:00am | 88 comments
laundry
This explains why they never appreciate my "relationships are a lot like the heavy load cycle" speech.
lists
New eyes did not make the list, but were a serious contender.
not killing and or killing plants
Between the mold, and the wilting, and the cats' insistence that they are all dinner -- the poor guys never stood a chance.
Rebecca in
Fun,
not killing and or killing plants,
plants,
container gardening,
garden,
gardening,
sore butts,
butts
Jun 7, 2013 at 4:00pm | 168 comments
porn
It is small world after all.
diaries
At least there was no Willow/Madmartigan erotica in this one. God knows where that ended up.
driving
Before I got this license, I tried to board airplanes with stuff like, a Polaroid of me and Mr. T. THE TSA CERTAINLY DID NOT PITY THIS PARTICULAR FOOL.
dating
I almost included your gyno appointment, but I feel like some dudes would be real into that.
okcupid
With no prospects lined up and two nominally active accounts, I decided to start sending men who had visited my profiles the sort of messages I receive on a daily basis.
Rebecca in
Sex, Sex, Sex ... and Love,
okcupid,
dating,
online dating,
anti-women,
stranger flirting,
i'm an asshole
May 28, 2013 at 11:00am | 224 comments
sun
I do many, many stupid things - like once putting an entire cupcake in the dryer****. But wearing expired sunscreen shouldn't be one of them.
vaginas
If a dude wants to tell me my vagina is repulsive, that's awesome, but he should be warned, I have sharp teeth, lock-jaw and passion for angry blow-jobs.
weed
I'd stick to the pot-for-thinness diet myself, if I didn't becomes insanely concerned about the reality of my own death every time a pipe was in my general area.
damn hipsters get off my lawn
I will probably judge you for wearing a band shirt you bought at Urban Outfitters.
being fat in the world
You are literally unprepared for this jelly.
coke
You know what would happen if I got a bottle of cola I couldn’t open out of a machine? I would try to furtively open it with my teeth.
celebrities
While my peers swooned over the New Kids, I was wondering just how to go about contacting James Caan -- in my pants.
expired
Spontaneous rashes, bad color choices, and the smell of an old guy's rotten mouth.
getting organized
In which the following is discussed: murder, the mental anguish of my future children, AND CRISCO.
big boobs
My boobs were never welcomed in any workplace in corporate America.
being fat all over the internet
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, TANNING STORE.
exercise
Your boss wants you to "voluntarily" let him know how much you are working out. I want him to "voluntarily" punch himself in the nards.
panic attacks
Panic attacks aren't fun. But they can be funny.
television
Also I've looked into buying a bird feeder. I'm just saying.
