Age: 39Twitter: @thecheckoutgirlWhat I Do, Job-wise: Writer. Twitter Comedian. Storyteller. Ukulele Enthusiast. Dilettante. Bon Vivant. Superhero. Oversharer. Dirty Girl.What I Do, Fun-wise: Tell my stories, whether it be on stage in front of an audience or at a coffee shop in front of the unwilling. Knitting. Singing. Dancing. Celebrating shit. I’ve spent the last year writing a one woman show, Loosely Based On A Real Girl, which will debut November 2011 at the Empire Theatre in downtown Richmond, VA.My Motto: “Nothing comes from nothing / Nothing ever could / So somewhere in my youth or childhood / I must have done something good” Julie Andrews GETS me.My Anti-Motto: "I’m bored.”The First Movie Star I Ever Had A Crush On: Alan Ruck as Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller's Day OffThe Most Played Song On My iTunes: “A Long December” by Counting CrowsLast Book I Read Without Skimming Any Parts: "Hos, Hookers, Call Girls, and Rent Boys: Professionals Writing on Life, Love, Money, and Sex" Edited by David Henry Sterry and R.J. Martin, Jr.My Most Worn Item of Clothing: A black bra that makes my breasts look magnificent (discontinued now, naturally).Beauty Products That I Hoard: I collect nail polish like a crazy cat lady, sunscreen (I’m never without it), e.l.f. cosmetics (cheap and good), and Sephora Rouge Cream lipsticks.I smell like: Harajuku Lovers G, those markers that smell like fruit, and, sometimes, red meat. I love red meat.I Have Faked An Orgasm (Yes/No): Yes, but not until I got paid for it.More info about me at JenniferLemons.com.
I Just Found Out I Have Herpes 0
I (Don't) Want Your Sex (Cause I'm on Anti-Depressants) 0
It Happened to Me: I Was a Plus-Size Porn Star 0
I Accidentally Sent The Cruelest Text I've Ever Sent to the Very Friend Who I Was Trashing -- While She Was Sitting Right Next to Me
UNPOPULAR OPINION: I Am Both Pro-Life And A Scientist
IT HAPPENED TO ME: My Career as a TV Producer is Scaring Men Away
Everything You Think You Know About Poverty Is Wrong
An Open Letter to The Person Smoking Their E-Cigarette Indoors
2 Years After Meeting My Son, I am Finally, Officially His Legal Mother
IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Was Fat-Shamed During a Breast Cancer Scare
xoJane.com is where women go when they are being selfish, and where their selfishness is applauded.
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