When I wiped, I saw a single white worm on the toilet paper. Like any sane person would do, I freaked out, sobbing hysterically at 5 am.
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He broke up with me the week before Christmas. I spent the next week holed up in bed, eating éclairs and watching Grey’s Anatomy. If I had been in a better state, I might have noticed I had missed my period.
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My favorite part of my internships hasn’t been the costumes, although I wish I could wear most of them every day. It’s the moments when I start talking to a little kid, and I see them become transfixed.
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What had been a complicated father-daughter relationship became an impossible one.
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Sylvain isn’t a sugar daddy or some wealthy, businessman dude. He is a normal guy in his late 20s who works in an office.
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For god’s sake, my neighbor was five when it began, the same age I was. He didn’t know what he was doing. It certainly couldn’t have been abuse.
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I guess I thought that a porn addict would be into sex. Little did I know that it is often impossible for porn addicts to achieve orgasm during real-life sex.
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MySpace was the social media site of the time, and I thought maybe she had one. I began one evening to look for all the 16-year-old Nicoles in a 50 mile radius of where I was from
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Even though the alcoholic in my life has been gone for years, the disease still lingers. I’ve locked it out of the house and it sits on the front porch waiting patiently to sneak back in.
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When I was 24 years old, Sassy magazine published my “It Happened to Me” about me and my mother’s Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). Mom’s injury was relatively recent and I truly believed that we all would learn from it.
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She killed herself in 2008, but I think she would have done it a lot sooner, were it not for her unabashed love for me.
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Technically I am “Real Unemployed Stay at Home Girlfriend of Beverly Hills” but whatever.
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I threw up for three straight weeks. Multiple times a day. All day. Every day.
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I think about my brother all the time, question how I could have acted differently, what I could have done. Was I too selfish?
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We joked that we didn’t have time to have relationships with guys because we were too busy dating each other.
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It started off as a perfectly normal Saturday night, until I was sweetly kidnapped by southern eccentrics, drugged, and given a free sex show until I threw up.
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I was over the wedding before I was over getting married, although that would follow soon after, the way one begins scraping off too-sweet icing before throwing away an unfinished piece of cake.
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Sometimes I think of how life would be if that day in September were just a horrible nightmare, and you know what? I don't want that life.
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I've wrestled with the idea of that horrible person being my father, someone who, for the first part of my life, made sure we had a home, food and even vacations.
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No doubt he represents himself as Mr. Squeaky Clean Role Model to the parishioners in his wholesome Midwest hometown. They just don’t know he’s really a kinky sex maniac who’s totally into coveting thy neighbor’s wife.
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He didn’t have any money and he couldn’t come back to the States right away and he had to change his flight. I listened to this sob story and then he asked me to help him out, with whatever I could spare.
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Jealousy isn’t a form of flattery.
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On September 11, 2001, my father disappeared forever into the dust and flames and papers that rained down on lower Manhattan.
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I canceled my debit card, thinking it had probably fallen out of my purse while I was drunk, and thought nothing of it until my bank statement arrived, a thousand dollars short of what it should have been.
