distressed clothes
Let’s file our talons to menacing points and rip up all of our clothes, mkayyyyy? SUMMER BREAK FOREVER, BITCHES.
uti
A kidney infection means I'm spending this weekend chugging cranberry juice and slathering on lip tar like only a saucy Norman Bates could. I AM SO SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR HOW LOOPY I AM.
hair dye
But WHO CARES? Because I’ve got rainbow hair, bitches.
janeane garofalo
SINCE I’M NOT GETTING ANYWHERE with all this sharing of emotions stuff, I’ll just go ahead and tell you about my weekend with Janeane Garofalo at the Arlington Drafthouse.
piercings
I’m fully disclosing my wimp status when it comes to piercings. But also my favorite piercing products! Relevant!
vagina wellness
Every time I get sick or even feel the INKLING that I might get sick (the sniffling, the itchy throat) My Vagina FREAKS. THE. FUCK. OUT.
curly hair
I have had multiple beaus tell me to straighten my locks. And it was a ton of horseshit. My curly hair is BEAUTIFUL and I should own it more.
chokers
Stop suppressing the 90s child within. Rock a choker.
plastic
I left all that boring stuff up to my sartorially dexterous boyfriend while I watched endless X-Files reruns and barked out orders from the couch. GENDER ROLE REVERSALS IN THIS HOUSE, Y’ALL.
Gabi Rivera-Morales in

Jan 25, 2013 at 1:30pm | 80 comments

eyelashes
I’ve almost, ALMOST completely given up on mascara for getting the curled, thick, sexy eyelashes of my dreams. And since I’m too poor for Emily’s beyond gorgeous eyelash extensions, it’s falsies or BUST, man.