The main thing I notice when I look back over the decade I've just graduated from, it's that I didn't know s@#% about styling myself in an attractive way.
clothes
sobriety
I love my birthday because it combines two of my greatest pleasures in life -- dessert and attention.
nails
Seriously, I'm just showing you nail polish colors.
sexual attention
I DO find sexual attention immensely validating, and that plays into everything from the way I dress to my choice of career.
cheating
Jezebel recently published the name and photos of the "woman who broke up Kim Gordon and Thurston Moore." I don't buy that.
poems
It's a feminist poem about my period.
music
Once, in the dusty annals of my romantic career, a mix CD fucking moved me.
food
Why you gotta play me like that, universe?!?
professionalism
Is asking for a manicure the lady-boss equivalent of sending a young female employee to fetch coffee?
mental health
Oh, by the way, this is THE WORST POST I'VE EVER WRITTEN.
babies
A friend of mine recently received an anonymous email telling her to "cool it" with the baby pics on Facebook. Who does that?!
casual sex
AKA the state one enters into when you have sex with a man who might previously have considered you a potential romantic partner but now considers you a casual sexual partner.
forgetfulness
The older I get, the more extreme my absent-mindedness has become and I'm honestly starting to wonder if something is vaguely WRONG WITH MY BRAIN.
eyebrows
PLUS how to get rid of gray hairs in a pinch!
gel manicures
Why is everything I love bad for me?
selfies
Most of the time, I post a selfie because I think I look pretty -- today/in this light/in this lipstick/in this outfit.
skill
Spoiler alert: Not everybody is.
intercourse
I rarely hear anyone admitting that the actual sensation of p-in-the-v can be kind of meh.
condoms
Never did it occur to wonder why it was that I was so often the sole person responsible for insisting on safe sex, why I was positioned repeatedly as the condom police, posed at the entrance to my vagina with a whistle and a handheld stop sign.
lena dunham
You'd think Dunham's character had won the lottery and transplanted the entire gang to Hawaii, not spent a couple of days banging a hot stranger
bodies
Did I ever tell you guys about the time I was hooking up with a guy who took it upon himself to shake my stomach fat while informing me that he liked "my jiggly belly"?
oral sex
They don't come right out and refuse to go down on you. They just never, ever take the initiative.
germs
So, handwashing? Is that something we're doing, like, religiously?
plus size
I'm just fine with the way my body looks and feels at this moment. What makes me hate myself is not being able to fit into clothes -- my own and those in stores.
